Sketchbook Dump #12

Spooky season, farts, and the spotted lantern fly

Sep 30, 2022

Every year I’m reminded the only cure is MORE DECORATIONS!!!!! (Cue me running to CVS)

I’m going to be writing about Halloween all month (duh) so I won’t go overboard now but I will share this list of movies I made for this month, if you want to follow along! It’ll be like a game of bingo you play with yourself except the only way to win is to watch every film and there is no prize. I’m also in no way guaranteeing that I will be watching the movies in this order because I’m an artist and a little bitch.

Okay the last thing I’ll say about Halloween this week is that I think someone should dress up as Pearl!! If you do plz send photos.

All week I have been so eager to tell people that I saw Don’t Worry Darling as a social experiment. How could I not after the year’s worth of twitter drama?? While I wish I didn’t have to pay for it, I must say it was worth it simply to see the disaster that this film is. We saw it at the drive-in on a windy night as everyone clutched blankets tight to their chest while laughing in horror at the pathetic moments delivered sincerely throughout the film. It by all means should have been a good mooooovie (as Harry Styles would put it) based on the idea, but the final product just literally doesn’t make sense? It was also worth it to see it just to hear this woman at the end of the screening:

Apparently she and The New Yorker are the only two who appreciated this movie and honestly, good for them.

I have spent essentially the entirety of September in a physical and emotional battle with mosquitos. I’ve been up in the middle of the night acting like I’m the new star of The Shining, scaring the shit out of my boyfriend, and yelling things like “THEY DON’T EVEN SERVE A PURPOSE IN THE CYCLE OF LIFE!!!!” as I slam a book against the wall. One day I do fear there will be a mosquito bite that really ends it all for me. And not some West Nile shit. Like it’ll just be full What About Bob? and I’ll have to be sent to live in a psych ward… but I would hope at least there, the bugs don’t get through the window screens? I will say the pro-tip I’ve learned in the past year as far as anti-itch cream goes is that the best product to get is actually not the spray but the liquidy oily stuff. As someone whose mosquito bites can reach the size of triscuits, this is important information to have on hand.

In other bug related news, New Yorkers and members of the tri-state area of been called to their civic duty in killing the invasive species—the spotted lantern fly. Apparently they’re here to really fuck our shit up (by shit I mean, plants). When I first noticed them upon my return to New York it felt so apocalyptic (what’s new?) because I thought there were just dead bugs everywhere. Then I learned that we’re being asked to kill these little fuckers and boy did I get excited. Every time I stomp on one I feel like a superhero.

Adnan Syed was freed last week and if you read Murder Book you know how big this is not only for Adnan himself but for pop culture.

I spoke with so many of my friends the following day and they all said the same thing. Hearing Sara Koenig’s voice took them right back to 2014. Everyone knows what they were doing while they were listening to season one of Serial. I equate it to historical moments like landing on the moon and the invention of diet coke. Serial started the true crime boom we’re all living in today which, do I dare say, has completely shifted the world of media?

OK hard pivot. Yesterday my boyfriend was like “have you heard of a pore scraper?” as if I don’t literally live to pick at his face. I myself, am a pore scraper.

Sometimes I think popping pimples is my kink. Lately I’ve also enjoyed eating cookies in front of children, talking to friends about making money off foot pics, and shaking my booty.

The weather has been so idyllic in New York it’s almost disturbing. The sunsets?? The light breeze?? I might as well roll over and DIE!!!! Or at least, fart. I genuinely believe I am one of the gasiest women I know and I’m not afraid to share that information with you because you’re not standing next to me.

On Tuesday my best friend since forever turned 31 and she felt a little deflated and I was like… I get it. There’s something very bland about being 31. I for one am looking forward to being 32 because then maybe I’ll actually feel comfortable with the word “adult.”

Ok this last cartoon needs a lot of explaining. Over the summer I took Margie to visit my sister and her family in Idaho. We wound up taking the kids to the county fair. As we wandered around wondering if we might find anything truly worth while, we stumbled upon an FFA goat judging arena. Something about it made me say, we need to stay here. And holy fuck was I right. What transpired in the next 20 minutes was one of the funniest scenes I’ve ever witnessed in my life, but it really cannot be fully understood in a cartoon, so I’ve also uploaded some audio of my reenactment of this judge.

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