Is it really the holidays if you’re not feeling manic?
This time of year I absolutely love making it look like Santa threw up all over my apartment. This is something I learned from my mother and an aesthetic I’ll cherish for the rest of my life. I love tiny things. I love to put them on shelves. I love to move them around as if they have a life of their own. If I was allowed to decorate all of New York, you would be tripping over little reindeers and tin soldiers and Snoopys dressed as Santa and I’d be yelling “DON’T HURT MY BABIES!!”
If you were stranded on a desert island, this is how I would rescue you:
My least favorite thing about this time of year is how crazed I feel (or is it actually my favorite part??). Is it possible to work/be normal between Thanksgiving and New Years? Or is it simply the time your brain turns into a pinwheel covered in glitter?
From planning to shopping to wrapping to cheese, it’s like all the days in December blend together into one giant party that no one ever cleans up after. I imagine myself starting out the holidays as a tumble weed that soon rolls into a Christmas tree—gathering lights, tinsel, wine glasses and spinach dip along the way—finally ending up 20 times the size I was in the beginning and with much less cash. But I’m not complaining! I love it! I just wish I wasn’t so behind on work and possibly facing another bout of S.A.D. But I’m assuming everyone feels this way? Right?
If you don’t love Christmas, this newsletter must be really disappointing you, if you do love it, hello. Here’s a recent sketch I made (while thinking about Santa having a martini) that I ended up turning into a painting.
I’m sure I’ve said this before but, I’m not religious, I’m just a stickler for tradition. I simply love singing about Jesus and it makes no sense to me (Anyone know why this is??). Cuz it’s like, I’m sorry, I don’t believe in God, but have you HEARD Harry Connick Jr do Ave Maria? It’s truly breathtaking!!! I did go to Catholic School which I deeply resent, but maybe my love for their music is some sort of leftover nostalgia for my youth.
The best Christmas tradition in my family, outside of blasting Harry Connick Jr, is the following:
Sometimes she even finds the gifts a year later in the back of her closet and then she REALLY feels vindicated. I myself can’t really afford to buy people gifts but it might be somewhat because I’m always too tempted to get myself 10 books every time I pass the bookstore.
I was in Desert Island Comic Books the other day and did that thing where you pick up ten books then slowly put them all back and think “who do I think I am!? Liberace!?”
My new Christmas tradition in the past several years, along with everyone else in Brooklyn, is to somehow land free tickets to see LCD Soundsystem at Brooklyn Steel and dance my heart out and assume I’ll never see them again (never true). I have been so many times I feel like a glutton.
I thought of that cartoon while I was at the concert dancing to Us V Them and then I screamed it at my boyfriend before I promptly fell over because I was so friggin’ excited.
I really have been living in tights, and I don’t know if it’s out of laziness or because I watched so many videos of Miranda July dancing in them and I just wish I was her?
P.S. Do you have this hair problem?
This time of year is truly wild so I do hope you’re taking care of yourself and not having an emotional breakdown in a FedEx!
I also hope you are not falling ill because that seems like the real CLASSIC thing to do these days.
Instead, my hope for you is that you embody my landlord, who was having the time of her life, by herself, putting up pictures of Santa and saying “I’m having a laugh with myself!”
Before I go I want to remind you that to win a copy of What Did I Do Today? all you need to do is download the Substack app and join my chat thread, where you can share your own “today” lists. But if that is too daunting, you can also pre-order a copy here that comes with limited edition sticky notes!
Also! Do you live in the Sonoma County area? I am having a Christmas Book Party at the La Prenda Wine Tasting Room on the Sonoma plaza on December 22nd! You can get advanced copies of What Did I Do Today? plus tons of other great last minute holiday gifts… and of course, wine!
Thank you for reading! New posts every Friday!
Obsessed with: Rewatching Kirstie Alley movies, RIP
Currently Watching: The Crown (so late to the game)
Most of the cartoons in this newsletter are available on Etsy!
Have you read Murder Book? I’d love to hear from you!
Sketchbook Dump #15
Alas, I too, save a quarter of an apple.