Sketchbook Dump #21

Hoda & Jena, nightmares, gossip, deadlines

Greetings from suburbia! Could I be more obvious about it! I am currently on my way to my family reunion (the 30th anniversary of it, at that!) and I have a lot of thoughts about The Today Show and wine country tourists. Would you believed I got road-raged at? Here I thought New York was dangerous! Watch about for enraged men on vacation, they mean business, and by business I mean misogyny!

Anyway, without further ado… my latest sketchbook dump!

I have so many complicated feelings about the 4th hour of The Today Show. Do I miss Kathy Lee? Literally obviously. Jenna is a really horrible substitute for crazed right wing religious fanatics. Does she even have her own Christmas album? That being said, I am here for Hoda and have been on the wild journey of her revealing all her “co-parenting tactics” alongside her music jam of the week—and yet… and yet. I sit on my parents couch, drinking coffee, wondering, is this healthy? What if instead of offering the moms of America tips on making a frittata in 5 minutes that tastes like a lollipop, they talked about how to properly ween off antidepressants? Might that not help our families, a little more?

I *think* I’ve reached a place in life where I’m comfortable—as my friend Jordan says—“raw-dogging life.” Famous last words? Stay tuned!!!! Outside of the dizziness I had yesterday after weeks off, I haven’t had any other symptoms. Does anyone else feel like “symptoms” is the word of the century? Have I been watching too many Rexulti commercials???

I famously have only nightmares. People (like my mother) always say, “oh god Hilary that’s not good” but it’s all I know—so like, what am I supposed to do with that information? My mom suggested my anti-depressants might have been contributing to recent my onslaught of nightmares, but I think it might be a funny little thing called trauma, or perhaps a response to how our world treats creatives?

I was THRILLED yesterday to see that SAG-AFTRA joined the strike with the WGA, with a fantabulous speech from our hero Fran Drescher!! What’s happening in Hollywood is so gross and I want to have hope that we can all make a change together—but even my boomer neighbor Kray told me last night “You think you can fight A.I.? Give up now!” so now I… don’t know what do outside of drinking Fireball on ice and melt slowly into the back seat of a 2008 Nissan Pathfinder.

Family reunions are widely known as a great cure for 32-year-old angst because no one has ever asked you what you’re “doing” with your “life” and whether or not you’ll have “children” “anytime soon.” I don’t know when I’ll procreate, but I am nearing page 200 of my next book The Joy of Snacking and I have no clue whether or not I’ve been a good mother thus far though I definitely know my child won’t be graduating on time. Trying to get perspective on a book in the middle of writing it is like asking a toddler how they’ll feel in the next thirty minutes—you might think you know, but you have no idea and no one is there to help with your diaper.

Ok I’m being a classic Melodramatic Magdalena but that happens when you’re surrounded by this much gossip and white wine! I have been talking about remodeling and second marriages more than I’d like to admit, and my god I wish I wasn’t so good at it! I am convinced at this point I could lead a college level course in gossip—and honestly, I think I should. Wouldn’t it be a24 of me?

On top of gossiping, I’ve finished my summer camps where I’m honored to say I was becoming a problem. Though I do think it’s healthy for kids to have a few teachers that lose it, how else will they know who to look up to?

These last few snippets are pretty random, random to you of course, not to me. To me they make a ton of sense because I recently left a long-term relationship, I’m always thinking about leaving New York, I couldn’t believe the new “wall” they proposed in Manhattan, and well, hemorrhoids, there’s never enough talk about hemorrhoids.

Finally a recent reject:

Thank you as always for subscribing to my psychotic newsletter. My potentially unlikeable suburban content will be ending soon as I only have about a week or so left out here before I return to New York—where everyone will find me relatable yet again! Can you feel my anxiety????

Thank you for reading! New posts every Friday!

P.S. Last night a flower died right in front of me, something I didn’t know could happen, but like, it really can happen in a really obvious way

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• ICYMI: I’m back at Greenpointers Terminal Market in August

• Can’t wait to watch: Last Call on HBO!!!!!!!

• Reading: the to-do lists my mother left me

• Obsessed with: the 75th Anniversary of In n Out

• On repeat: Old Heartbroke Blues by Joshua Hedley

• Most of the cartoons in this newsletter are available on Etsy!

• Are you using your What Did I Do Today? journal? I would love to hear from you!