4 Comments
May 17Liked by Hilary Fitzgerald Campbell

"i've optimized everything, but i can't optimize your vagina" i am saying this to people for the rest of the day

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May 17Liked by Hilary Fitzgerald Campbell

I could not love your list more. Do you make them at a certain time of day, or add to them all day long? Also: if the Diet Coke people don’t hire you for jokes, their gigantic loss!

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author

I write these at the end of the day!

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The LA one is so accurate! ☺️ Also, your boyfriend has a cool birthday week, which I say selfishly since mine was Wednesday. Happy birthday to him!

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